Monday 16 December 2013

A Christmas ghost story... of sorts

Hello you.

Here's a thing I wrote in 15 minutes today. It's kinda dumb, but it made me chuckle and I read it to some other writers tonight and they seemed to like it. It was written to be read out loud really. Hope you like it.


I DON’T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

I don’t believe in ghosts,” I said, ignoring the translucent grey man hanging around at the end of my road.

I still don’t believe in ghosts,” I said, when I woke up the next day and found an old lady silently howling at the end of my bed.

I don’t believe in ghosts,” I angrily muttered, flipping the bird at the drowned child crying in my bathroom. “Sod off.”

No, really, I don’t believe in ghosts,” I stressed at work, when a cavalcade of headless horsemen galloped through the office and floated through the wall by the photocopier. That was a weird one.

FOR FUCK’S SAKE,” I swore that evening, as a raven-haired Korean girl levitated through my living room. “I don’t believe in ghosts!” She glowered at me and disappeared into the TV.

I don’t believe in ghosts,” I said tiredly as I surveyed my ruined flat while chairs flew around of their own accord.

I DO believe I should have kept taking those anti-psychotics,” I said to the doctor the next morning. “I think I’m having a few problems…”

Will Salmon 2013